Here's the dirty little secret in the bird marketing world--real birders HATE the Audubon Singing Bird Clock. You know, the one with a different bird picture marking each hour and that gives that bird's call when the clock strikes that bird's hour. At $19.95 its a not an expensive gift, and its an all time best-seller in the bird merchandizing world. And maybe that's the problem with the clock--many birders just find too many incongruities between the worlds of birds and marketing. No offense to the clock people, many birders feel the same way about bird mugs, dishrags, or pillowcases. There's a wide divide between bird people and bird mug people.
But maybe there's a way beyond this impasse. What I propose is a new singing bird clock. Instead of featuring real birds at each hour, it should have beloved pop culture birds in their place. Since they aren't real birds, they won't annoy real birders. And since most cartoon birds are more popular than real birds, this clock would be a guaranteed best seller. Here's your million dollar idea for the day!
The new "oughta been" singing bird clock could feature the following birds and their calls:
1--Donald Duck saying "Mickey Mouse" from the Mickey Mouse Club song.
2--Big Bird saying "Snuffy, Snuffy...where are you?"
3--Tweety Bird saying "I tot I taw a putty tat!"
4--Foghorn Leghorn saying "I do say..."
5--Daffy Duck saying "Despicable"
6--The Roadrunner saying "bbbbbbbppppttt"
7--Heckle and Jeckle (for the old-timers) saying "Hey, Old Featherhead"
8--Iago (from Disney's Aladdin, for the younger kids) saying "Look at this. I'm so ticked off that I'm molting"
9--Alan-a-dale the rooster from Disney's Robin Hood singing "dododododododododo, dodododododo"
10--Zazu from Disney's The Lion King saying "Not so fast!"
11--Toucan Sam saying "Follow your nose, it always knows!"
12--Woody Woodpecker and his famous laugh
C'mon, it made you laugh, right? You even followed a link or two. You'd buy this clock for someone, right? And its totally inoffensive. Who can get upset at the marketing of pop icons? No real nature to despoil or prostitute there! Even hard-core birders have a soft spot for some of these beloved characters. I'm telling you its a winner. Look for it in stores by Christmas!
Tiny Cormorants, Tinier Kingfishers
15 hours ago