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Wednesday, September 08, 2010

What would you say?

Some people just don't like birds. Here's an actual email I got as part of my work helping people with their bird control issues at Bird-B-Gone.

I am interested in your sonic system to rid my home property of birds. It is less than an acre with trees all around on the block. My little dog is terrified of the birds going off every morning singing and talking outside my bedroom window. It sounds like a symphony is playing on the other side of the wall and it is driving me crazy. The birds I see are the blue jay; a bird with a white body and black wings; and, of course, the black crow that seems to lurk everywhere. I am sure there are other breeds mixed in; but, these are the big culprits.

I think the sonic system will be the easiest and the quickest way for me to solve the problem. What do you think based off of the birds I described? Will it send the neighborhood birds around me to the next block? I look forward to your recommendations. would you respond to a situation like this? (Be nice!)


Anonymous said...

Dear Sir or Madam,

Our products are designed for non-native, invasive pest species, such as House Sparrow or European Starling. Some of the species you describe are not pests, but are native species that play vital roles in the ecosystem. Because of their importance to the environment, native species are protected under federal laws and regulations.

Our products may be effective against native bird species, as well as pest species, but they were not designed for that purpose and we do not recommend them for that. (Using our products to rid a property of native bird species is as foreign to our aims as it would be to use rat poison as a way of killing squirrels or neighborhood cats.)

Instead of using our products beyond their intended purpose, we suggest that you learn to live with and appreciate the native bird species that share your property. Though their morning songs may be unwelcome, they are beautiful creatures--miracles in motion, that add color and life to your yard (as well as helping to control insects in your lawn and garden).

Mikael Behrens said...

Wow! That reminds me of a lawn chemical company's book of lawn symptoms and recommended solutions I encountered years ago. One of the symptoms was "birds pecking at your lawn". The solution was to apply one of their products to kill the bugs in the ground that the birds were eating!

Birding is Fun! said...

Move to an underground bomb shelter.

Dave said...

Dear Sir or Madam,
Enclosed please find a real estate brochure for Antarctica.

The Penguins will be quiet when you are asleep.

Thank you.

Bird Feeders said...

I would instruct the individual to purchase a bird costume and dress up every morning and run around making bird calls in the his or her yard. After sufficient exposure to this clearly dominant species, say everyday for one to two months, the local birds will be simply too intimidated to ever return again. (And, of course, ask for a photograph of the person in full costume to ensure it is dominant-looking enough).

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