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Thursday, January 24, 2008

If Birds Could Vote

Tired of the normal talking heads speculating about the 2008 presidential campaign? Here's an entirely new perspective--how various North American birds might vote in the upcoming elections, if they had a vote.

Northern Cardinal
Vote: Huckabee
This bird is red, red, red. And religion might be a factor.

Eastern Bluebird
Vote: McCain in primaries, Obama in general
The bird is red up front, but really mostly blue when you get down to it.

Great Blue Heron
Vote: Hillary
Huge, blue, and a bit dangerous, if it gets within two feet of you it can poke out your eye with that sharp dagger of a beak!

California Gull
Vote: Romney
Very white, little gray on the sides. But really, this is the state bird of Utah, 'nuff said?

Mexican Jay
Vote: Richardson
Living in the American southwest, this bird is a true blue democrat, and liberal on immigration.

Black-necked Stilt
Vote: Huckabee
Those goofy pink legs make it stand taller than it should, otherwise everything's pretty much black and white with this guy.

American Avocet
Vote: Paul
Stooping to enter the fray, this guy is mostly black and white, but check out that burnt orange head and neck--that's the official color of the University of Texas, so gotta support the native son.

Red-winged Blackbird
Vote: McCain
This bird is black, but carries a red-patch on its sleeve!

Common Grackle
Vote: Obama
This bird is black, but check out that blue gloss!

Song Sparrow
Vote: Edwards
Sings a pretty song, but kinda plain and doesn't get much attention when up against more gaudy birds.

Of course, maybe you shouldn't judge how folks'll vote based on where they live or what they look like.

And with over 700 species of birds in North America, this sampling is too small to predict who would win the overall bird vote anyway!

How would your favorite bird vote?


Anonymous said...

I believe you got the representation of the colors mixed up (Blue=Democrats, Red=Republicans).

birdchaser said...

Thanks, fixed it. Perhaps it was too many years growing up in a Republican household where Red=Communist=Democrat!

Patrick B. said...

I think you got the colors right, no?

I guess no bird votes for Hillary.

birdchaser said...

Patrick, I had the colors mixed up but that's fixed. And I did find a vote for Hillary. But still no vote for Giuliani.

Anonymous said...

Birds are much smarter than people. They would all vote "NO".

Nervous Birds said...


I'm voting for a Painted Bunting. A little bit Democrat, a touch Republican, a smattering of the Green party and just a touch of Libertarian!

Now, just who would be the human equivalent?

birdchaser said...

I think Ron Paul is pulling voters in from all those demographics. Maybe Painted Bunting would go for Paul?

sonicfrog said...

Most in the Psittacine family would have to vote for Romney. The African Grays especially can appreciate his ability to learn new words and phrases to please his owners.

birdchaser said...

Sonicfrog, of course parrots are widely considered among the smartest of birds--which may swing them to Romney as well!

dguzman said...

American bittern = John Edwards, who's also hard to see thanks to the media's ignoring him for flashier birds.

Anonymous said...

How about the whooping crane for Giuliani? Lives up north most of the time, but skips all the states and heads down to Florida when it's time to get moving!

nina at Nature Remains. said...

Very clever--and, as much as I seek nature as an escape from the politics of everyday life...laughter is good for us all.

almiyi said...

How about Bald Eagle. This is Steven Colbert as a write-in candidate.

Anonymous said...

Purple Martin:

Vote for: Giuliani

Is red on foreign policy and law enforcement, but blue on gay rights and abortion rights--hence the purple color. Has been absent from primary states this winter, but spotted in Florida.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the post. It was very clever and I got a laugh out of it. Good comments too.

golfwidow said...

This was a lot of fun and I enjoyed it.

That said, birds are smart enough not to have to vote at all. And yet, we still call them "birdbrains."

Anonymous said...

Rob, no matter the colors, this was very thoughtful and entertaining.

Northern Cardinal said...

I can't believe that you are corrupting a wonderful and natural thing like birds with politics. *Laugh*

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